Returning

I am going back!!! I will be returning
to Peru on Wednesday the 27^th. I will be spending the
majority of my time in Chincha, the city about 3 hours south of Lima.
Also, there will be another guy going down there with me, Nick
Jones. I am very excited about being back.

I wonder what went through the mind of
the prodigal son as he rounded the dirt road heading home, wondering
what fate lie ahead. I wonder what was running through his head. In
the Old Testament rebellious children could be killed for their
continuous behavior. I can only imagine the last thing the prodigal
son envisioned on his long and painful journey home was a father who
came running out to embrace him. I am glad that God’s thoughts are
not my thoughts and God’s ways are not my ways. I cannot begin to
grasp how deep and wide God’s love and forgiveness is. I so often
will beat myself up for things I have done or not done and feel that
I do not deserve a compassionate and loving Father. I am glad God is
bigger than my thoughts and bigger than my conditional love. One of
my biggest fears in life is that I will be abandoned or that people
will not love me and so I feel it necessary to do what I can to cause
them to love me. Something I have learned recently is that God knows
everything about me. Jesus knows all my faults, my short comings, my
fears, yet chooses to love me and have compassion. It is irrational
to believe that God would not love me when He knows everything about
me and has done everything for me. John 10:10 says, “The thief
comes to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have
life, and have it to the full.” The enemy’s lies at times seem so
real and I can often forget how much God loves me and has pursued me.
The lies that I must be perfect, that I’m only lovable if, and that
God will leave if I act in this or that manner are often spoken in my
ears. I know those are lies because God chose to love me before I
even knew Him. I am realizing that trying to be perfect is stupid
because it would mean we aren’t challenged, that we don’t struggle,
and that we don’t have to depend on someone else. It is ridiculous
to think I must have all things together or be perfect because that
means I miss out on living life in intimacy with Christ. It’s not
about reaching this point and thinking we are finished. I am
continuing to learn it is a journey and I don’t always get it right
but I pray I don’t forget I was asked to come and follow. I was
asked not to forget my weaknesses and think they are no longer there
but to yoke them with Christ, trusting that His grace is sufficient.
He chose to love me knowing my faults, weaknesses, and the times I
chose other things over Him.

Please keep Nick and myself in your
prayers as we go down to Peru. Pray that our eyes are open to God’s
kingdom at work and that God’s love becomes evident in our lives and
the lives of others.